The world is a complicated place to both live and survive in. There are situations and motions that stir up both good and the bad parts of life. Everyday is another battle field I wake up in. And war is not my thing by any means causes too much chaos to handle. I have been having thoughts that run through my head like an irritating movie that wants you to shoot yourself in the head. Not knowing how the day would start or even end is a hazordous posion. That could live you partly lifeless. Stress is one major reason I bleed from my lips. Actions speak louder than words and that speaks a lot more to me than the images you see on the internet or even on lame television.

Sometimes I wonder why I even care and thats hard to admit in any or all situations. And that hurts me more than anyone could ever know. Parents are what influences the type of relationships you have or will have. Many ifs and buts arises in my life and causes my brain to drive me crazy. Having problems needs to be put out there; no is perfect and neither are relationships. A lot of bullshit and complications, but there is a lot of love i give and want to receive from all the heart; not parts and pieces. Sometimes I want all or nothing and looking around that is a pathetic way of encountering the thought process.

My heart sometimes bleed from holes that are made. Could you truly heal the wounds that were left untouched to suffer? I cry not only tears but from the pain of the blood that drowns my lungs. I want to be complete and happy for an eternally and for my forever. I wonder if my light in my heart that sets my path is losing its brightness. Could you tell? Would you even care? I don’t want the questions why or how to even be asked of me.  I could care less of sympathy because its pointless.

What do I love?

Easy to answer my beautiful daughter and my fiance and dog named buddy. Is that my reason for living? Its my reason for getting up and waking up to the sun and blue skies that contains hints of purity from the whiteness of the clouds that pass over the head. I love a unconditional love that I have with and for my angel. My fiance and I love each other. Its amazing.

Can you be influenced?

Its possible from the surroundings.